


Till We Find the Light We Seek

by rosegoldthread



Series: Uncommon Divinity [1]
Category: NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), All consensual of course, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, American Gods Inspired, Anal Sex, Barebacking, Blow Jobs, M/M, Mentions of sex work and brothels, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex as a form of worship, loosely though...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 08:34:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20485949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldthread/pseuds/rosegoldthread
Summary: Ten is a lost god of desire, and Hendery finds him in the most unlikely of places.





	Till We Find the Light We Seek

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my super self-indulgent Tendery fic. It's loosely inspired by Neil Gaiman's American Gods (though you don't need to have read it to understand anything here!). Hendery is slightly aged up here so that his age aligns with stuff like going to grad school! Quick note that the events of this fic take place in a brothel. Please feel free to let me know if I forgot any warnings. There's no beta for this, so any mistakes are all mine. I hope you enjoy!

_The world is little, people are little, human life is little. There is only one big thing — desire._

~Willa Cather, The Song of the Lark

Hendery looks at the scrap of paper for what has to be the hundredth time in the span of fifteen minutes. The address that's scribbled onto the crumpled paper remains the same, no matter how many times he checks, but he can't help but feel like something _has_ to be wrong. 

Because the building that he's currently looking at from the safety of his running car is a brothel. "The Love Motel" sits bright and gaudy in the burning light of the desert sun, and the chipped, pink facade of the building makes his eyes hurt with its brightness, as if it's glowing in a bid to attract more people into its walls. The longer he looks at it, the more he begins to think that maybe Yukhei has been pulling his leg this entire time. Maybe he wants to see him embarrassed and squirming at the prospect of going into a brothel. But he's come too far (and has spent far too much on gas) to leave without at least trying.

He steels himself with a deep breath and cuts the engine. The desert heat is oppressive, and even the short walk to the reflective glass door of the building has Hendery soaked in perspiration. He enters an air-conditioned lobby that looks no different from the kind he sees at the doctor's office, with comfy chairs lining the walls and low tables covered in magazines. The familiarity soothes his mind a bit as he approaches the receptionist.

"Hello, how can I help you today, sir?" the receptionist, whose name tag reads Yuta, asks brightly. 

Hendery has been preparing for this day for years, yet the words get trapped in his throat. All his practice flies out the window, because he doesn't know how to request for someone in a brothel, has never even stepped into one before.

"I uh- would like to see if um, is Ten available?" Hendery fumbles through the words, running his fingers through his hair in an attempt to quell the nerves.

"Of course sugar! Now, would you like to book an appointment with him today? He's pretty booked in the evening but if you'd like to see him now I think I can work something out," Yuta says.

Hendery takes a deep breath, relieved and surprised that he hasn't come here in vain. Ten is actually here. A mixture of nervousness and excitement stirs in his stomach as he nods at Yuta, who starts typing something on the computer. 

"Alright, here's a brochure that details our services, as well as a form that I'll need you to sign, detailing your consent to receive our services and the legal rights of both you and our employees. The prices are listed in the brochure," the other man says. His smile is extraordinarily bright, and Hendery is a bit distracted as he grabs the pack of papers.

"Oh, and may I see your ID?" he asks, almost as an afterthought, and Hendery can't help the flush in his cheeks. He's an adult now, but he knows he looks young, innocence displayed in the wideness of his eyes and the boyish composition of his other features. He slips the ID from his wallet and hands it to Yuta, who nods after examining it and smiles again before handing it back.

Hendery sits on one of the chairs and starts reading some of the legal jargon on the forms. Certain forms of prostitution have been legalized in the country, so there are protections extended to each brothel worker. He fills out the necessary information and signs his name messily at the bottom. Once he's done with that he moves onto the brochure. It's very detailed, and he can feel his cheeks redden the longer he reads. 

There are very explicit descriptions of each service, along with the prices neatly listed at the side. Hendery doesn't know what the hell he expected to find at a brothel, tea time? He soon discovers that tea time is listed as one of the services. _Nevermind._

He settles for something called "Beginner's Paradise" because it seems fitting, and he knows that he should read the details of it more thoroughly, but he's too out of his element to try. He hands the forms and his selected service to the receptionist along with his credit card information, and he brightly informs him that Ten will be ready for him in about fifteen minutes. 

That gives him some time to collect his whirling thoughts. He sits on the chair again, taking a deep breath before reaching for the worn journal in his bag. He's been planning this for years. Elaborate details are scribbled in the small margins of the journal, his messy handwriting detailing his hours of study and research. 

The movement of the clock in the corner is sluggish, yet too fast all at once, and Hendery nearly convinces himself to just leave, because what if this isn't what he wants? Maybe it's his fate to admire Ten from afar, like everyone else. And who is Hendery, to test fate? But the receptionist tells him that Ten is ready for him before he can flee, and an attendant leads him up a grand set of stairs to a room down the hall. 

"We hope you enjoy your time with us, sir," the attendant says before turning around and disappearing down the hall. 

And just like that Hendery is left alone, with just a door between him and the experience he's been pursuing for so long. His hand shakes as he knocks once, twice, and a mellifluous voice muffled by the wooden barrier bids him to "come in". 

He opens the door and walks in, accepting his fate. Ten is standing in the corner of the opulent room, face turned towards the window like a plant reaching for the rays of the sun. Hendery feels his nervousness and excitement coalesce into the form of a shiver as he looks at Ten. He has conflicting urges to look away and to keep his eyes glued to his beautiful figure at the same time, and it makes him dizzy.

When Ten turns from the window to look at him, Hendery's breath is caught in his throat. He feels like a boy again, vulnerable in the glare of reality that seeks to snatch him from his world of dreams. He's held onto his dreams for so long. Through college. Through an accelerated program for grad school. Through a stressful research job with minimal employee benefits. Now he looks at Ten and feels them fall away because _this must be my dream_, he thinks.

"I've been searching for you. They told me that it was impossible, that I couldn't- that you were gone," Hendery finds himself babbling as Ten stares him down. It probably makes no sense, but Ten looks like he understands. There's a valley of plush carpet and polished wooden furniture between them, and neither of them moves to close the distance. 

"You've been searching for who I used to be, and I'm afraid that you will be sorely disappointed if you seek the past in me. I am what the land has made me, and nothing more," Ten replies. 

Hendery feels entranced, and he finds himself kneeling on the plush carpet. Ten still looks at him, face angled down now to see him from where he stands. Inky tendrils of hair frame his beautiful face as he keeps his distance.

"You are everything I've been searching for, I can feel it. Is that not enough?" Hendery replies. He's stubborn, but he doesn't want to earn Ten's ire, so he bends his head, staring at the ground in a show of submission. 

He thinks back to the first time he'd learned of Ten. He was curious and rebellious, awkward in his lanky limbs and pimpled face. Tired of going to church every Sunday and coming back with more questions than answers. Scared of the implications of his sexual desires, of his dreams of love and admiration in the eyes of _men_. Then he'd read about Ten. In an old mythology book in the town library, he'd found information about an ancient pantheon, an entire host of gods nearly forgotten. It was like a doorway into a new world, and Hendery was perfectly willing to dive in. 

The book didn't mention one name, as he went by many. _The Bountiful. Patron of Dreams. Granter of Fertility. Light of Spring_. _Desire_. Hendery had been fascinated from the start, and he read extensively, even through college and grad school. Because Ten inspired him, had indirectly given him the courage to be himself, somehow. He devoured any literature he could find, and when Yukhei, one of his associates from grad school with a focus on ancient pantheons, had given him the heads up on Ten's whereabouts, he'd seized the opportunity. 

Now he finds himself looking down at polished leather shoes leaving an indent on the carpet. He hadn't heard Ten move, but now he stands right in front of him, and Hendery doesn't dare look up. He doesn't have much of a choice though, as a soft hand grasps his jaw, angles his head up until he's staring into the carob depths of Ten's eyes.

"How did you find me, Kunhang?" the god asks. Hendery shivers at the sound of his name, and Ten smiles down at him.

"My friend, Yukhei. He's been studying gods and goddesses for a long time, seeking out the ones that still walk the earth. He told me where to find you," Hendery replies.

"And why me, Kunhang? Why not Jaehyun or Taeyong? Or even Kun?" Ten asks. His smile turns playful, and his eyes are knowing as if he already knows the answer but enjoys Hendery's nervous squirming. 

"You're the only one, um- the only god I've searched for," he says, voice trembling a bit as Ten presses his thumb to the plushness of his bottom lip.

"The god of what? My brothers are still powerful, and the land has taken much from me. I don't have anything to offer you Kunhang, unless you enjoy memories," Ten looks away from him then, and Hendery scrambles to answer him.

"You're the bountiful. Patron of dreams, the light of spring. But if you don't go by those names anymore, I'd adore you regardless. You don't have to be the god of anything to reign over me," he says. 

Ten's eyes burn into him again, and his thumb moves, swiping the span of both his lips before pushing into the seam between them, a silent request for entry. Hendery grants it, sucking it into his mouth as he watches Ten's eyes darken. 

"You adore me?" He asks. Hendery nods, lips occupied with the digit in his mouth.

"Then show me, Kunhang. Would you let me see how you revere me?" he continues. 

Hendery feels himself harden in the confines of his pants at the implication of Ten's words. A blush colors his cheeks, and he's shy as he moves to unzip Ten's pants. He's not sure if this was covered in the service he'd selected from the brochure, but when he gets a taste of Ten's length he finds that he doesn't care. This is all a facade anyway, a simple backdrop to the scenery of his wildest dreams.

No amount of money could purchase the pleasure and fulfillment he feels as Ten grips his hair and gently rocks into his mouth. Hendery moans around his cock as his palm runs against his own aching length through the fabric of his pressed slacks. He takes him in as deep as he can, throat struggling against the instinctual need to eject the intrusion. Ten is rock hard, but he makes no sound, not even when tears run down Hendery's face as he takes him in deep, not when he smears precum against his red lips. Hendery worships the length of his cock, tongue swirling around the head as he lifts his hands to splay them on Ten's stomach. He caresses every inch he can touch, bathing him in all of his attention, and Ten lets him. 

His heart thrums in his chest, and he knows he's breathing far too fast, taking in as much air as he can through his nostrils as he focuses on pleasuring Ten. He's taken by surprise when Ten pulls him up with a strength that belies his lithe physique. He kisses him then, tender and mildly consuming as he tastes himself on Hendery's tongue. When he pulls away his eyes are bright and Hendery hopes that he'll actually last through this.

"What do you want, Kunhang? I don't answer prayers anymore, and I have no temple, but I'll grant you whatever you wish for within the confines of this room," Ten's voice is oh so soft as he says it, and Hendery strains to hear him over the roaring in his ears.

"I want you. Whatever you're willing to give, just this once," Hendery's voice is raspy as he chokes out the words, face burning at the promise of what Ten will do to him, for him.

Ten smiles, nice and sweet, but his eyes narrow with something else as he leads Hendery to the large four-poster bed in the center of the room.

"I wonder what I did to deserve such a beautiful supplicant. Look at you, Kunhang. So pretty for me," he says right as Hendery lays on the bed, back pressed to silk sheets as he gasps at the words. 

His clothes are soon gone, abandoned in a heap on the floor next to Ten's. He makes space for the god between his legs, and he gasps again when Ten seals their lips together, roughly this time, driven by a purpose that he can only guess at. He whines when Ten pulls away, which pulls a laugh from him as he looks at Hendery's body hungrily. He shivers when he touches him, body arching towards the warmth of his hand as he maps a searing path from his neck to the plane of his stomach. He goes lower and Hendery can't help but moan when he finally touches his cock with a gentle brush of his hand. It's not enough, and Hendery bucks up, seeking more contact.

He closes his eyes because keeping them open makes this far too real, and his mind is having trouble catching up. He waits for Ten's fingers to ghost at his clenching hole, but they don't come. Instead, he feels the phantom heat of Ten's breath against his hardness, and with a jolt, he realizes what Ten is planning to do right as he puts his mouth on him.

The moan that escapes his lips is filthy, and there's a flush forming over his body as he quickly puts his hand on Ten's hair, stopping him from sinking down any further.

"Please, you can't! I'm not- you're a god," Hendery hates the way that his voice cracks as he says it, but Ten just raises an eyebrow as he relaxes the suction on his tip with a pop.

"And? Have you forgotten where we are, Kunhang?" Hendery shakes his head frantically because that's not what this is, it can't be-

"Even if it wasn't a brothel, shouldn't I be allowed to pleasure my pretty supplicant? Or do you not want that?" Ten's face is set in a frown, and Hendery is so, so confused. Because this isn't what gods do, he's sure of it. Yet here Ten is, lips wet with Hendery's precum. 

"I do, but I came to revere you. Adore you. It shouldn't be the other way round," Hendery whispers. The frown on Ten's face clears, and he captures Hendery's hand, which is balled into a fist from nerves, in his own.

"You're giving me your body Kunhang. That's reverence enough," he says. 

Hendery is giving him his body, trusting him with the core of himself. And maybe this goes against everything he's ever learned about gods and power, but he's willing to let Ten teach him his ways.

"Then please, accept my offering," he whispers. Ten laves his tongue over the length of his cock before he replies "I already have."

The warmth of Ten's mouth is incredible, and Hendery can't help the way his hips buck into the velvety heat. His mind feels hazy with pleasure. He smells incense, which makes no sense, given that nothing was lit in the room when he came in. The world seems to narrow down to the heat of Ten's mouth and the pressure of his hands gripping Hendery's hips. 

And the thing is, he's had sex before. He's read about it, about the silky caress of desire in all its forms. But now, as the personification of desire and fertility swallows around his cock, he thinks it's all been pointless. Nothing can compare to this, and he wants it to last forever, an eternal loop of pleasure. But in the end, he's only human. The heat in his stomach coalesces into something like fire and he cries out, spilling into Ten's mouth. He swallows everything, both Hendery's very essence and the praise that falls from his lips, lacking coherence as Hendery tosses his head back with the force of the pleasure.

His chest heaves with the brunt of his rapid breathing, and he doesn't want to open his eyes; doesn't want the dream to end. 

"Kunhang, why won't you look at me?" his voice is teasing, and Hendery squirms even as he slowly opens his eyes. He immediately wishes that the room was a bit dimmer, because the buttery sunlight streaming through the windows illuminates the sheen of spit on Ten's mouth and the light dribble of cum running down his chin.  
_His cum_. Hendery thinks he might faint. Or maybe he's already dead, and all of his small good deeds have afforded him this one moment of beauty. He actually can't confirm that his heart is beating until he feels it pick up double-time as Ten leans over him, claiming his lips and giving him the chance to taste himself. 

He doesn't know where the courage comes from, but he summons enough to grasp Ten's face, holding it still as he laps up the remainder of his come from his skin. Ten groans at that and Hendery can feel the pressure of his hardness against his bare thigh.

"Please, more," he begs. In fact, he's willing to get on his knees again if it will sway the god to get inside him, to share himself with him until they're joined like one.

"You ask to be joined with me? Are you sure that is what you want? I won't be able to take back what I share with you, and you won't be able to retract what you share with me," Ten says. He looks serious, and Hendery understands the gravity of what he's asking. 

He's read about this, scouring the limited collection of literature that actually addresses the topic. It's an ancient ritual that normally occurred between a consort and a god because sex was deemed too intimate to be shared with a stranger. An invitation to see the most vulnerable part of a god, and to let them see the most vulnerable part of yourself in return. It's not to be taken lightly, and Hendery is no consort. He's only a fascinated stranger who has dreamed of Ten for years, but he fears that might not be enough, fears that he's succumbing to greed at the very request.

But he steels himself before answering, "Yes, I'm sure," and he doesn't think he will ever understand why Ten agrees; why Ten watches him hungrily after he commands him to stretch himself as he strokes his cock with the remainder of the lube. Hendery can feel himself hardening again as he presses into himself with the third finger, yelping when he finally finds his prostate. He rubs against the bundle of nerves till he's shaking from the pleasure, and Ten hums from where he has a tight grip on his length. 

"Good boy, Kunhang. Show me how you pleasure yourself," the mention of being a good boy makes Hendery moan because he knows he can be good for Ten, perfect for Ten. 

When the god pushes into him he doesn't think he can breathe. His legs cross at the small of Ten's back as his body makes room for divinity, the blunt head of Ten's length making a way for his pleasure inside him. It's not too comfortable, at first. And Hendery whines even as Ten coaxes him into relaxing, giving him time to adjust to his girth. He starts slow, and suddenly Hendery can no longer keep quiet. He's not even sure of what he's babbling, but Ten drinks it up as he slowly grinds into him, hitting his prostate with godlike precision. 

They're joined together like this, and Hendery cannot pinpoint where he ends and Ten begins. They share everything: space on the silk sheets, breath from hurried kisses, thoughts, and fears, and desires from depths that Hendery didn't know existed. 

He knows what the land has done to Ten because he's always given the people what they want. They wanted water, so he gave it to them and they built cities. They wanted crops, so he made their land bountiful, and it inspired trade. They wanted children, to trade for them when they returned to dust, so Ten made them fertile. They wanted a whole host of things, and Ten always provided, as much as he could, until suddenly, they didn't need him anymore. They have modernity now, and each mind is a world that blocks him out, where people don't revere desire anymore. 

Ten knows that Hendery is terrified of being alone, of being forgotten in the backdrop of time. It makes him feel pathetic, but he's not alone now, and Ten whispers a promise into his ear, _"I won't forget you, Kunhang,"_ and it's enough, for now. To know that he's remembered in this moment, held in the arms of a god and filled with his very essence. It scares him that he can't think of wanting anything as much as he wants this.

Ten's thrusts are faster, rougher now, and Hendery just lets himself take it, babbles praises until the tears blurring his vision make Ten look like he's glowing. Adoration sinks into his skin as he soaks it up from Hendery's mouth, from his entire body. When he spills inside him Hendery is afraid that he'll burst into flames, like his mortal body cannot contain the very fibers of divinity. He thinks _this must be my dream_ as he spills all over his chest, breath trapped in Ten's mouth as he devours him, swallows him alive.

He's not sure how he survives, falling asleep to the feeling of Ten cleaning him up and kissing every inch of him that he can, telling him that he was perfect as he runs his fingers through his sweaty locks. When he wakes up, Ten is gone. The room is empty, and the only proof that he was ever even there is an ache in Hendery's body, and a small card glinting like gold in the light of the dying sun.

He picks it up and reads the name. _Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul_. There's a number on the bottom that Hendery hastily saves on his phone before he can forget. On the back, in print tinier than Hendery can really see without his glasses are the words: _Call me whenever you see fit, and you'll never have to be alone again, my pretty Kunhang._

He wants to scold himself for blushing at that, for feeling sad that Ten is gone. _Pull yourself together Hendery. He's called the patron of dreams for a reason._ He pulls on his clothes and gathers his things, exiting the room into the harsh light of reality. 

Hendery gets into his car and takes one last look at the Love Motel's chipped pink facade, trying to make himself believe that he'd found a god here. That the god had deemed him worthy enough to know his real name. He tries to pronounce it as he drives off, failing at the foreign pronunciation. _I guess I'll have to call him to teach me how to say it_. 

The thought holds a promise that makes him smile as he drives down the winding desert road.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading:)


End file.
